Thank You for Submission and Request for Revision


The speech that you submitted to me for presentation at
John Franklin’s retirement party is excellent with one
minor exception.

Inasmuch as John is somewhat sensitive about his age, I
feel that it would be inappropriate to make any reference
to this fact. I would appreciate it if you would delete
those sections in Paragraphs 6 and 7 which specifically
comment about his age and/or employ the words "golden
years", and find a suitable substitution.

Once again, the speech is very well written. Thank you.

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